Dos Para Brawl

More Characters! All of them, actually.


Ganondorf: I'm not as in sync with him as I was in Melee, but I can feel the old bastard in there. The Stomp still crushes souls and can be pulled out fast enough to avoid punishment.


Jigglypuff: I like her better now. Only Wario and Luigi can match her in the air, she can KILL things (by God, Martha, I swear it's true!) She has cool hats. She has it ALL.


Lucario: Eh. I like his special moves and his air game is okay. More damage=more power dynamic is neat, and he's sturdy enough to last that long. He's a less interesting Mewtwo.


Toon Link: Not garbage like his Real Boy counterpart. Good combo game. Fast.


Mr. Game and Watch: The only black man in the game returns beefed up! So much beef! He's lost the K.O-tastic Parachute but has gained more speed, power, range and recovery. Fear the Ebony Key of Death!


R.O.B: Pretty darn good. Up-air racks up damage and back-air kills and most everything else is good, save maybe his Side-B. R.O.B runs on love, so if you want to take him to the high ranks, you gotta WANT it.


Wolf: Waaaaaaay too good. Combos come as easy as you please, his range is almost stupid. Bad things? Terrible recovery and lackluster B moves. Chances are you won't need them. Wolf is a natural born killer.


I think that's everybody. I might go more in depth on my favorite characters as I get in more practice. Don't expect anything fast, however. I do have a life.


I swear it, Martha, I'm telling the truth.

Brawl Day Uno!

Okay folks, here are some character lowdowns:

Mario: Plays more like Doc Mario in Melee, new down-B is kind of sucky, though I don't have a lot of experience using it.

DK: Exactly the same, lost some power off of his B move, Side-B is more useful, still has tons of spikes.

Diddy: I haven't played him yet, but my chums use him pretty effectively.

Luigi: So much better! He was my best in Melee and they made him better! Yes! Final Smash is... odd.

Olimar: Haven't used him enough to be any good with him, up-tilt is amazing, good character.

Link: I hate Link.

Marth: Same old asshole, less range maybe.

Ike: Everything he does will kill you, slow as a glacier, sounds like a bus exploding when he hits you.

Metaknight: Fast as all hell, can't kill anything until the high 100's, requires intense practice.

DeDeDe: My favorite newcomer so far. Powerful, good combos, my next main man after Luigi.

Kirby: Seems better, new dash attack is welcome.

Fox: Toned down a bit, still a nice character.

Falco: Changed a lot, less soul-destroyingly annoying, more unique. Talks funny, he's a Boid from Brooklyn.

Snake: Awesome. Blows everything up, air attacks are super powerful, needs practice.

Sonic: FAST. Hard to use. Needs practice, probably more than Snake. Kills at 170% on average.

Wario: Strange. Haven't played him much, seems to have a lot of advantages in the air.

Pokemon Trainer: Overall, excellent. Squirtle dominates the air, Ivysaur has rage and wicked power and... well, Charizard is my least favorite. Plenty good, but not great.

Ice Climbers: I like then even more now. Beware the terrible hammers of Killyou.

Pit: ANNOYING. Easy to kill, but good luck hitting him. Has a few good KO moves.

Captain Falcon: Plays a little more like Melee Ganondorf, which I like. Not garbage like the Tourneyfags whine, nothing to jizz yourself over.

Pikachu: A Death Machine. Every good move made better, every bad move made passable. Fear the rat.

Yoshi: Kind of the same, better recovery.

Zelda: Fantastic! I liked her before but she's a steamroller now. Din's Fire will screw you all over the place.

Sheik: Weakened quite a bit, which is good. Players of her from Melee will weep like little girls.

Samus: Still brings the pain, Up-B is back to being stupidly good and down-air is even better for spiking.

Zamus: Haven't played as her, but she looks pretty good (and I hear she plays fine, too!)

Lucas: Awesome! Everything explodes, shocks, freezes or burns. Big hitboxes. Up smash is a thing to be feared.

Ness: Better, but plays about the same. New engine suits him.

Peach: Seems the same, down smash noticeably weaker, new Exploding Ass attack.

Bowser: Kicks major ass. New Side-B is killer, his moves are faster... everything is better.



Those are all of the ones I've unlocked so far. I'll put the new ones up when I get them, plus some other opinions of mine.

And Now The Shocking Truth!

I got Brawl, I am playing it.

I am exercising.

I am reading.

DUN DUN DUN

Fooled you, suckers!

Whew

I need to get in shape, man.

I'm getting rather tired of being a skinny douche, you know?

Not much else to report, Theremin is hard, too tired to write. So brakes on the new blogs for now.

Oh yeah, Brawl comes out on Sunday. See you online with DeDeDe, suckers!


Yarr

Idle Threats

I'd rather be hated than ignored. I'd rather be well known as a monster than unknown as a kind man.

Does that make me a bad person?

I think so. Shit. I can't even look in the mirror without sneering.

Maybe this will be the Nervous Breakdown Blog, maybe I'll put a tattered mind on parade for the leering masses, maybe maybe maybe I'm just making idle threats.

Maybe maybe maybe

Well, Shoot... and maybe some new Blogs!

Has it really been more than a week? Dang. Well, I don't feel that bad about it since nobody reads this anyways.

This is a secret blog for secret things.

In any case, I may be starting up two new blogs to track two aspects of my life: learning the Theremin and writing a short story/novel. The second blog is kind of up in the air but the first one should be up this month (March? Why did you sneak up on me? You could have just said "Hi")

Probably gonna call it something clever, too! Isn't this exciting!?

Well, no, but if we all pretend it is...




Yarr